Everybody panic!!!

"Is it a pandemic yet?" "Is it a pandemic yet?" "Is it a pandemic yet?" "Is it a pandemic yet?"

I imagine scientists with the World Health Organization are positively tingling these days. They have their "black plague." Or at least they hope they do.

Please forgive me if I'm not ready to stock up on antibiotics, hand sanitizer, Kleenex, chicken soup, ginger ale and Vitamin C. I don't feel particularly compelled to buy in to Swine Flu panic just yet.

I course, if I die from this damn thing in a few weeks, you can file this blog post under "tragic irony."

Scientists who portended the end of the world with the Avian Flu three years ago are crossing their collective fingers, hoping they can say, "I told you so!" this time around. Never mind that Swine Flu has claimed fewer lives worldwide in the past week than has accidents involving donkeys. (true statistic!) The Powers That Be won't let a chance for a good crisis to go unexploited.

Swine Flu may be a legitimate concern, but it's more likely that it's the 2009 version of the "Shark Attack" scare---a scare that was wiped off of the headlines following 9-11-01.

Folks, I'm in the news business. I know that nothing draws listeners (or viewers or readers) more than a damn good headline story. You can't get much deeper in terms of public interest than "National Health Scare!" But lets face facts. How many times have the scientific community cried "wolf?"

And by the way---didn't Gerald Ford cure swine flu when he rolled up his sleeves back in 1975?

Doomsday scientists are swarming around the Swine Flu scare for the same reason that the Weather Channel executives root for maximum damage from tornadoes and hurricanes. It makes them relevant. No one gives a damn about Jim Cantore when it's sunny and 85 degrees. No one calls the Centers for Disease Control when they're feeling fine.

So join me, won't you, in rejecting the hype. That is, of course, until you die in a donkey-related tragedy!