Well, that was an anti-climatic ending to the NCAA tourney! North Carolina took all of the drama out of the National Championship game. Before I could get to my second beer, the Heels had built up a double-digit lead, en route to a thrashing of Michigan State. Sherman's March to the Sea seemed liked a quagmire in comparison.
That I could have cared less about the outcome shows maturity, I guess. You see, I grew up with a white-hot hatred of Carolina. Got it from my dad. Not sure why, though. Dad didn't have a real favorite college team---he just hated Carolina. I grew up with a steady diet of racially-tinged epithets hurled at Phil Ford; questions about Dean Smith's sexual preference; suggestions about Mitch Kupchak's ancestry. As the sins of the father passed on to the son, I picked up with similar diatribes against Rich Yonaker, Matt Doherty, even the great Michael Jordan.
These days, I can appreciate Carolina basketball for what it is. When they square off against Duke, I don't have a dog in the hunt. My sports vitriol is now limited to watching Detroit Tiger pitchers struggle, Virginia Tech's offensive line acting like a sieve, and line drives hitting me on the pitcher's mound while playing softball.
Not even good ol' standby UVA is worth my contempt these days. There's a part of me that longs for the era when the Cavs were truly hate-worthy. Trust me, though, I'm more than content for them to continue to play the role of Vanderbilt to our Tennessee.
Where have all the evil forces gone in sports? We no longer have the Russians to root against in the Olympics---China just doesn't do it for me. Barry Bonds is "retired." The Yankees haven't won a World Series in nine years. UVa sucks AND swallows in football. Bobby Bowden passed senility about four exits ago.
The closest thing we may have as a savior in this regard is new Tennessee football coach Lane Kiffin. This guy is going to be fun! Check out my friend's blog about the newest addition to the fraternity of colorful SEC football coaches.
My search for evil will have to go back to the political realm I guess. Not too many good guys there. With the new baseball season, and my one-week free preview of the MLB package, I'll have plenty of opportunities to bitch between now and Sunday.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Play ball!!
What promises to be a steroid-free 2009 baseball season opens this weekend. On the upside, it'll be the second season in a row without Barry Bonds' snarling visage. On the downside, it'll be the umpteenth season in a row that my Detroit Tigers have employed a "We don't need no stinkin' pitching" strategy.
It's funny---most of the folks I hang around with could care less about baseball. We're football folk, and fiercely proud of it. While nothing beats a rockin' Lane Stadium on a crisp autumn afternoon, my fondness for baseball comes in a close second. Oh sure, the Grand Old Game has left me hanging several times. The strikes in 1981 and 1994 made me feel like a scorned lover. But my "battered husband" syndrome sends me crawling back each time she bats her alluring eyes at me. (I'm sorry---I've got to go look at a few files in my "Asian Girls" folder).
----------------------------------
Now, where were we? Ah yes---baseball. Since I was too fat to play organized football as a youngster, baseball became my first love. I found that my good hand-eye coordination and quick reflexes were a good combo at the plate. My fat ass relegated me to either Catcher or First Base. My spaghetti-like arm had me stationed at first.
After hitting .737 in my last year of Little League, I considered signing a lease on an apartment in Detroit. Hey, I needed someplace to stay after the Tigers signed me, right?! It was when I tried out for the Junior High School team at Blairs that I discovered I was not going to bat cleanup in Motown. I was introduced to the curve ball---and I haven't touched one yet!
Relegated to a life-long status as an observer, I still followed baseball pretty regularly. As an adult, I've also delved headlong into the history of the game. I now count it right up there with the Civil War as my favorite historical subject. Ken Burns would be proud!
An earlier rant of mine bemoaned the decreasing popularity of baseball, but I understand fully. Baseball is not too easy to follow on television. It's like hockey, in that it's MUCH more fun to watch live than it is in front of the tube. It's no coincidence that these two sports are showing a steady decline in TV ratings, despite healthy attendance figures.
As I get older I find that baseball appeals to my intellectual side (such as it is), while football appeals to my red-blooded, reptilian-brained, cro-magnon side---a side that is still flourishing, thank you very much. Whereas baseball prompts me to nurse a couple of beers over nine innings while munching on peanuts, football compels me to consume large amounts of dead animal flesh and chips, while testing my liver's capacity with concoctions straight out of "The Twilight Zone."
That having been said, "Play Ball!" Unlike the NCAA tournament, this time-wasting activity lasts six months!
It's funny---most of the folks I hang around with could care less about baseball. We're football folk, and fiercely proud of it. While nothing beats a rockin' Lane Stadium on a crisp autumn afternoon, my fondness for baseball comes in a close second. Oh sure, the Grand Old Game has left me hanging several times. The strikes in 1981 and 1994 made me feel like a scorned lover. But my "battered husband" syndrome sends me crawling back each time she bats her alluring eyes at me. (I'm sorry---I've got to go look at a few files in my "Asian Girls" folder).
----------------------------------
Now, where were we? Ah yes---baseball. Since I was too fat to play organized football as a youngster, baseball became my first love. I found that my good hand-eye coordination and quick reflexes were a good combo at the plate. My fat ass relegated me to either Catcher or First Base. My spaghetti-like arm had me stationed at first.
After hitting .737 in my last year of Little League, I considered signing a lease on an apartment in Detroit. Hey, I needed someplace to stay after the Tigers signed me, right?! It was when I tried out for the Junior High School team at Blairs that I discovered I was not going to bat cleanup in Motown. I was introduced to the curve ball---and I haven't touched one yet!
Relegated to a life-long status as an observer, I still followed baseball pretty regularly. As an adult, I've also delved headlong into the history of the game. I now count it right up there with the Civil War as my favorite historical subject. Ken Burns would be proud!
An earlier rant of mine bemoaned the decreasing popularity of baseball, but I understand fully. Baseball is not too easy to follow on television. It's like hockey, in that it's MUCH more fun to watch live than it is in front of the tube. It's no coincidence that these two sports are showing a steady decline in TV ratings, despite healthy attendance figures.
As I get older I find that baseball appeals to my intellectual side (such as it is), while football appeals to my red-blooded, reptilian-brained, cro-magnon side---a side that is still flourishing, thank you very much. Whereas baseball prompts me to nurse a couple of beers over nine innings while munching on peanuts, football compels me to consume large amounts of dead animal flesh and chips, while testing my liver's capacity with concoctions straight out of "The Twilight Zone."
That having been said, "Play Ball!" Unlike the NCAA tournament, this time-wasting activity lasts six months!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Guns in Tennessee??
The Tennessee state legislature is looking at a proposal that would allow college students and faculty members to legally carry weapons on campus. Not that most folks in Tennessee have a problem with packin', but University folk are a decidedly different breed.
Of course, we're nearing the two-year anniversary of the mass shootings at Virginia Tech, a subject near and dear to my heart.
State Rep. Stacey Campfield's bill would allow any full-time faculty and staff with a valid permit to bring a handgun onto their public college campus. The Knoxville Republican says banning guns on campuses isn't banning criminals, only preventing "people from being able to defend themselves."
No one wants to talk about it, but I will. What if someone other than Cho in the second floor of Norris Hall had a gun on April 16, 2007? Opponents argue "he still would have killed a lot of people." Well, is a body count of 20 better than 33?
It's no coincidence that in a similar incident earlier this decade at the Appalachian School of Law in southwest Virginia, two students who had shotguns in their trucks went to retrieve their weapons after a gunman began shooting people. They used the guns to hold the shooter at bay until police arrived. He killed two people. How many would have died had not these "good ol' boys" brought their guns with them---in a blatant violation of the school's "zero-tolerance gun policy," I might add.
Think about it, folks. If we are to believe the liberal's view of guns, it is simply their availability that is a precursor to violence. If so, why are we not hearing stories every day about mass shootings at gun shows, where weapons are readily available? Wanna know why? Because even the most deranged gunman knows that if he gets trigger happy at a gun show, there are more than a few law-abiding citizens that will fill him full of holes.
If you're looking to kill as many people as possible, where would you rather be---at a gun show, or at a place that prohibits guns? Think, folks, think! To put it another way, if you're looking for the best steak in town do you go to a restaurant that has "GO VEGAN" in neon lights, or one that has steer horns mounted above it's entrance?
I realize that's a crass way to look at this. So, sue me.
As we get closer to the two-year anniversary of the Tech shootings, alums like me will deal with a lot of thoughts and feelings. If the tragedy underscores the right we have as private citizens to take reasonable measures to protect ourselves, then maybe all was not in vain. That's a helluva price to pay, though.
Of course, we're nearing the two-year anniversary of the mass shootings at Virginia Tech, a subject near and dear to my heart.
State Rep. Stacey Campfield's bill would allow any full-time faculty and staff with a valid permit to bring a handgun onto their public college campus. The Knoxville Republican says banning guns on campuses isn't banning criminals, only preventing "people from being able to defend themselves."
No one wants to talk about it, but I will. What if someone other than Cho in the second floor of Norris Hall had a gun on April 16, 2007? Opponents argue "he still would have killed a lot of people." Well, is a body count of 20 better than 33?
It's no coincidence that in a similar incident earlier this decade at the Appalachian School of Law in southwest Virginia, two students who had shotguns in their trucks went to retrieve their weapons after a gunman began shooting people. They used the guns to hold the shooter at bay until police arrived. He killed two people. How many would have died had not these "good ol' boys" brought their guns with them---in a blatant violation of the school's "zero-tolerance gun policy," I might add.
Think about it, folks. If we are to believe the liberal's view of guns, it is simply their availability that is a precursor to violence. If so, why are we not hearing stories every day about mass shootings at gun shows, where weapons are readily available? Wanna know why? Because even the most deranged gunman knows that if he gets trigger happy at a gun show, there are more than a few law-abiding citizens that will fill him full of holes.
If you're looking to kill as many people as possible, where would you rather be---at a gun show, or at a place that prohibits guns? Think, folks, think! To put it another way, if you're looking for the best steak in town do you go to a restaurant that has "GO VEGAN" in neon lights, or one that has steer horns mounted above it's entrance?
I realize that's a crass way to look at this. So, sue me.
As we get closer to the two-year anniversary of the Tech shootings, alums like me will deal with a lot of thoughts and feelings. If the tragedy underscores the right we have as private citizens to take reasonable measures to protect ourselves, then maybe all was not in vain. That's a helluva price to pay, though.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Lights out!
This weekend brings with it more than just crappy weather to the Danville area. It also brings what I'm told is the second-annual "Earth Hour." Our friends at Associated Press tell us that the Eiffel Tower, The Acropolis, even the Great Pyramids will lower their lights for an hour tomorrow. The goal, ostensibly, is to raise awareness of Global Warming. What mood lighting has to do with the core temperature of the Earth escapes me, but I'll play along.
For those of you who attend the "Church of Global Warming," this has to be a panacea. The Perfect "style-over-substance" event that has drawn participation from a reported 84 countries! Well, you can't say the Global Warming Alarmists can't get the word out!
Here's my take. I am a left-brained guy. I have seen enough evidence on both sides of the global warming debate to ascertain that no one knows for sure what the hell is going on. As for my personal belief---let's just say I would be willing to lend an ear to the Global Warming crowd, if every proposed solution to the alleged problem wasn't something that would hamstring American capitalism. The Obama administration is already doing a bang-up job on that front.
Folks, the earth's temperature has warmed and cooled for nigh on five billion years now! That's long before Adam and Eve took an ill-advised bite of an apple. Does human activity have an impact on the environment? Yes. Much like pissing in the ocean causes water levels to rise.
This is going to come as blasphemy to environmentalists everywhere, but man's impact on the environment is negligible. Yea---I said it! Think of it like this. The 2004 Tsunami in southeast Asia produced energy equivalent to 165,000 hydrogen bombs! And that was nothing more than a geologic burp! Did the Earth die? No!
On Saturday, instead of stroking Mother Earth's breasts, I think I'll run through the house and replace every bulb with a 200-watt monster. All the better to watch the NCAA tournament with.
For those of you who attend the "Church of Global Warming," this has to be a panacea. The Perfect "style-over-substance" event that has drawn participation from a reported 84 countries! Well, you can't say the Global Warming Alarmists can't get the word out!
Here's my take. I am a left-brained guy. I have seen enough evidence on both sides of the global warming debate to ascertain that no one knows for sure what the hell is going on. As for my personal belief---let's just say I would be willing to lend an ear to the Global Warming crowd, if every proposed solution to the alleged problem wasn't something that would hamstring American capitalism. The Obama administration is already doing a bang-up job on that front.
Folks, the earth's temperature has warmed and cooled for nigh on five billion years now! That's long before Adam and Eve took an ill-advised bite of an apple. Does human activity have an impact on the environment? Yes. Much like pissing in the ocean causes water levels to rise.
This is going to come as blasphemy to environmentalists everywhere, but man's impact on the environment is negligible. Yea---I said it! Think of it like this. The 2004 Tsunami in southeast Asia produced energy equivalent to 165,000 hydrogen bombs! And that was nothing more than a geologic burp! Did the Earth die? No!
On Saturday, instead of stroking Mother Earth's breasts, I think I'll run through the house and replace every bulb with a 200-watt monster. All the better to watch the NCAA tournament with.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Bonzai!!
This year's World Baseball Classic will have a decided Oriental flavor as Japan and South Korea square off in the title game Monday night. They'll be handing out chopsticks at the turnstiles in Dodger Stadium before two teams from the Far East battle for supremacy in "America's Pastime."
This is not some bitter American moaning about our rank inability to accomplish jack-shit in any team sport, other than basketball. Quite the contrary, I LOVE watching the Asian teams play baseball. Their emphasis on pitching, speed, defense, bunting, and raw fundamentals is what Major League ball was like before someone named Babe Ruth showed everyone how to make a handsome living hitting the ball a country mile.
Something else about the Asian teams---you can count on one hand the number of players they have that weigh north of 200 pounds. No steroid-addled sluggers are to be found on either side. Could it be that it takes more than raw muscle to hit a baseball real, real far? This is one case where size does NOT matter. If it did, Tiger Woods would be a mild-mannered office temp, rather than hitting 350-yard drives long and straight.
Another thing to consider about the U.S.A.'s underwhelming performance in the two WBCs is that the concept hasn't exactly taken off here in the states. Be honest, how many of you even knew this was occurring? That's what I thought.
A quick glance at the stands of most any WBC game leads to a lovely view of thousands of empty seats. In the U.S. games, those seats that ARE occupied are usually done so by Japanese-Americans, Korean-Americans, Venezuelan-Americans, or Puerto Rican-Americans. The INS could likely meet their quota with a quick run through of PetCo Park during a Mexico-US game.
For the American TV viewer (i.e., where the money is) the WBC is hopelessly matched up against March Madness, despite honorable attempts to avoid direct scheduling conflicts. That, in turn, leads to odd start times and under-coverage. That's a recipe for disaster, ratings-wise.
The timing also sucks for the U.S. teams. At a time in spring training where pitchers are still limbering up their arms, they're asked to throw 100 competitive pitches against teams that have either already started their regular seasons, or are coming off two months of highly-competitive Winter League ball in Latin America.
Plus, there is the specter of baseball's declining popularity in America. This whole WBC concept was ginned up by Major League Baseball to spark domestic and international interest in the Grand Old Game. Baseball has been steadily declining on the American sports scene over the past 40 years---a gap that has been more-than-happily filled by the NFL and the NBA. It's great sin...baseball doesn't look good on TV.
As a baseball geek, I can't say I'm pleased---but as a realist, I can't say I'm surprised. As more and more American kids get soccer balls shoved in front of them, this trend will likely continue. American kids are less inclined to play a game where you can fail two-thirds of the time, and still be considered a spectacular success. A 67-percent failure rate is no way to attract modern-day kids.
Jeez, I'm sounding like a grumpy old man. GET OFF OF MY LAWN!!!
This is not some bitter American moaning about our rank inability to accomplish jack-shit in any team sport, other than basketball. Quite the contrary, I LOVE watching the Asian teams play baseball. Their emphasis on pitching, speed, defense, bunting, and raw fundamentals is what Major League ball was like before someone named Babe Ruth showed everyone how to make a handsome living hitting the ball a country mile.
Something else about the Asian teams---you can count on one hand the number of players they have that weigh north of 200 pounds. No steroid-addled sluggers are to be found on either side. Could it be that it takes more than raw muscle to hit a baseball real, real far? This is one case where size does NOT matter. If it did, Tiger Woods would be a mild-mannered office temp, rather than hitting 350-yard drives long and straight.
Another thing to consider about the U.S.A.'s underwhelming performance in the two WBCs is that the concept hasn't exactly taken off here in the states. Be honest, how many of you even knew this was occurring? That's what I thought.
A quick glance at the stands of most any WBC game leads to a lovely view of thousands of empty seats. In the U.S. games, those seats that ARE occupied are usually done so by Japanese-Americans, Korean-Americans, Venezuelan-Americans, or Puerto Rican-Americans. The INS could likely meet their quota with a quick run through of PetCo Park during a Mexico-US game.
For the American TV viewer (i.e., where the money is) the WBC is hopelessly matched up against March Madness, despite honorable attempts to avoid direct scheduling conflicts. That, in turn, leads to odd start times and under-coverage. That's a recipe for disaster, ratings-wise.
The timing also sucks for the U.S. teams. At a time in spring training where pitchers are still limbering up their arms, they're asked to throw 100 competitive pitches against teams that have either already started their regular seasons, or are coming off two months of highly-competitive Winter League ball in Latin America.
Plus, there is the specter of baseball's declining popularity in America. This whole WBC concept was ginned up by Major League Baseball to spark domestic and international interest in the Grand Old Game. Baseball has been steadily declining on the American sports scene over the past 40 years---a gap that has been more-than-happily filled by the NFL and the NBA. It's great sin...baseball doesn't look good on TV.
As a baseball geek, I can't say I'm pleased---but as a realist, I can't say I'm surprised. As more and more American kids get soccer balls shoved in front of them, this trend will likely continue. American kids are less inclined to play a game where you can fail two-thirds of the time, and still be considered a spectacular success. A 67-percent failure rate is no way to attract modern-day kids.
Jeez, I'm sounding like a grumpy old man. GET OFF OF MY LAWN!!!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Played by the play-in game
OK---someone has yet to adequately explain this to me. What exactly is the purpose of the NCAA's play-in game? I'm talking about that little game being played tonight in Dayton---the one that sticks out like an abscess when you look at the bracket.
Storied powerhouses Morehead State and Alabama State will battle tonight for the right to say "We're #64!" As has been the case since this abomination was conceived more than a decade ago, the play-in game will be played in Dayton, Ohio. Their Chamber of Commerce must be positively tingling. They have doubtless netted billions of tourism dollars over the years with their annual "Battle for #64" tilt. The winner's reward will be a righteous ass-kicking later this week at the hands of Louisville.
How disheartening it must be for these small conference teams to win their conference tourneys and qualify for the "Mini-Dance." Fans storm the court, players are carried off like conquering heroes, they gather Sunday for the tournament selection show. They watch in stunned silence as they're relegated to the NCAA's version of purgatory.
And to add a racial element to all of this, why is it that one or both teams in the play-in game are almost always a HBCU? (Historically Black College or University) Black men CAN jump, can't they? Talk about "Separate, but Equal!" Somewhere, Spike Lee has a hard-on.
And why only one play-in game. Why not four? Make all of the 16 seeds advance following a play-in game? That would give three more at-large teams a chance to enter the field. While we're at it, why not expand the field to 128? To 256? Hell, let EVERYBODY in. I'd pay good money to see the 1-versus-64 matchup in the first round as UNC beats the New Jersey Institute of Technology by 70.
Storied powerhouses Morehead State and Alabama State will battle tonight for the right to say "We're #64!" As has been the case since this abomination was conceived more than a decade ago, the play-in game will be played in Dayton, Ohio. Their Chamber of Commerce must be positively tingling. They have doubtless netted billions of tourism dollars over the years with their annual "Battle for #64" tilt. The winner's reward will be a righteous ass-kicking later this week at the hands of Louisville.
How disheartening it must be for these small conference teams to win their conference tourneys and qualify for the "Mini-Dance." Fans storm the court, players are carried off like conquering heroes, they gather Sunday for the tournament selection show. They watch in stunned silence as they're relegated to the NCAA's version of purgatory.
And to add a racial element to all of this, why is it that one or both teams in the play-in game are almost always a HBCU? (Historically Black College or University) Black men CAN jump, can't they? Talk about "Separate, but Equal!" Somewhere, Spike Lee has a hard-on.
And why only one play-in game. Why not four? Make all of the 16 seeds advance following a play-in game? That would give three more at-large teams a chance to enter the field. While we're at it, why not expand the field to 128? To 256? Hell, let EVERYBODY in. I'd pay good money to see the 1-versus-64 matchup in the first round as UNC beats the New Jersey Institute of Technology by 70.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Hoop dreams
Thus begins March Madness. No. I'm not talking about the crazy weather we get this time of year. It's my latest excuse to veg out in front of the TV, drink copious amounts of beer, and ignore my wife and kids for as long as I can get away with it.
The funny thing is, I'm not that big of a college basketball fan. Sure, it beats soccer, tennis, ping-pong, jai alai, lacrosse, and watching flies fornicate. And of course I would follow the Hokies if they were competing in Parcheesi. But I don't live and die by the regular season. The Tournaments (ACC and NCAA) are fun, though.
The big reason I don't follow the regular season is that it is essentially meaningless, unlike my beloved College Football. Hoops are tournament-oriented. The best teams can lay a few eggs during the regular season, mail in a game or two, come out flat on occasion, and still make the field of 64. For all of the excitement generated by Duke and UNC's two regular-season matchups, nothing more than bragging rights and tournament seedings are at stake.
Now when Florida and Georgia football meet in October, there's more on the line that just whose fans can get the drunkest and come up with the most creative conjugation of a filthy verb. Lose this one, and you're toast as far as a national title is concerned. Oh sure, the Citrus Bowl still has a handsome payout. But if a loss to your arch-rival prevents you from playing in the BCS championship game, you're looking for a bottle of sleeping pills and a pint of bourbon.
If Duke drops two regular-season hoops games to Carolina, they're pissed, but they know full well they'll have a shot again in the tournament, if they keep winning.
Long live College Football, and a regular season where the games actually mean something! That having been said, let's open some beer and watch some hoops!
The funny thing is, I'm not that big of a college basketball fan. Sure, it beats soccer, tennis, ping-pong, jai alai, lacrosse, and watching flies fornicate. And of course I would follow the Hokies if they were competing in Parcheesi. But I don't live and die by the regular season. The Tournaments (ACC and NCAA) are fun, though.
The big reason I don't follow the regular season is that it is essentially meaningless, unlike my beloved College Football. Hoops are tournament-oriented. The best teams can lay a few eggs during the regular season, mail in a game or two, come out flat on occasion, and still make the field of 64. For all of the excitement generated by Duke and UNC's two regular-season matchups, nothing more than bragging rights and tournament seedings are at stake.
Now when Florida and Georgia football meet in October, there's more on the line that just whose fans can get the drunkest and come up with the most creative conjugation of a filthy verb. Lose this one, and you're toast as far as a national title is concerned. Oh sure, the Citrus Bowl still has a handsome payout. But if a loss to your arch-rival prevents you from playing in the BCS championship game, you're looking for a bottle of sleeping pills and a pint of bourbon.
If Duke drops two regular-season hoops games to Carolina, they're pissed, but they know full well they'll have a shot again in the tournament, if they keep winning.
Long live College Football, and a regular season where the games actually mean something! That having been said, let's open some beer and watch some hoops!
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